Silence Speaks (When Words Can't)
by midillu
Summary: He knew it was true. He'd realized it the day before, he'd just been in denial. Lance was deaf. After months, years of slowly losing his hearing, he was finally, one hundred percent, deaf. (Modern AU, loosely based off the story of Mandy Harvey)
1. Chapter 1

**I know, I know I started ANOTHER fic, when I have like three that I have yet to finish...** **This is dedicated to one of my close friends, who gave me an amazing prompt for a deaf!Lance AU. This ended up being a LOT longer than I had previously anticipated, thus why it quickly turned into a multi-chaptered fic.**

 **This is honestly the prequel chapter, the main plot starts next chapter, though honestly, this could almost be a standalone (it's not though).** **Anyways! Very loosely based on the story of Mandy Harvey, who you guys should definitely check out because she is an amazing musician. I don't own Voltron, all rights to respective owners, etc, and I hope you guys enjoy!**

He knew it was true. He'd realized it the day before, he'd just been in denial.

Lance was deaf.

After months, _years_ of slowly losing his hearing, he was finally, one hundred percent, deaf.

The previous morning, he had been waiting patiently in a coffee shop off-campus, a place that had been part of his routine for months. He always needed coffee first thing in the morning, otherwise he couldn't function properly. Contrary to popular belief, his over-the-top energy levels weren't completely inherent. He had been waiting for a solid ten minutes when it finally registered that he couldn't even _faintly_ hear any of the commotion going on around him. Not the businessman behind him, who was visibly talking heatedly into his phone, nor the lady in front of him, who's baby was screaming and thrashing in her arms. He couldn't hear any of it, even when he turned his hearing aids up as high as possible.

He froze up, trying to make sense of the information being presented to him, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't seem to deal with it. So he left, slipping back into the dorm room he shared with his best friend Hunk, empty-handed and inexplicably exhausted.

It wasn't a surprise, but it had come at an incredibly inconvenient time. It was finals week at the university he was attending. He'd managed to get into a well-known arts school, along with Hunk, who had been with him since they were in diapers, with the help of a few scholarships he'd managed to secure. He was mostly undecided on his major, though he knew he wanted to do something with music. Music has always been something he could connect with, regardless of his auditory condition, and he wanted to share his passion with others.

He had learned a few instruments during his childhood, thanks to the help of some family and friends. Hunk had been the one to teach him ukulele, after Lance had heard him playing one afternoon. The Garrett's had gifted a beautifully decorated ukulele to Lance after they realized how much he enjoyed playing on Hunk's. Lance had almost refused, but Hunk's parents had insisted, under the guise that their Hawaiian heritage had passed down a number of the instruments through their family, so letting go of one wouldn't hurt. And while that was true, their main hope had been that it would make him happy, even through the struggles he was facing.

His hearing had started to slowly deteriorate just before his fifteenth birthday. No one had realized what was happening until closer to his sixteenth birthday, but none of the doctors or specialists his parents took him to see were able to come up with a clear diagnosis. The degeneration was so slow that doctors estimated that it would take years for him to completely lose his hearing.

And it had continued at a slow pace until he was a few months shy of eighteen. Over the course of a month, the degeneration had sped up, leaving him mostly deaf. Hunk had immediately insisted they learn sign language together, and had used that as a distraction to keep Lance from getting too upset and overwhelmed by the situation. It was during one of his biggest struggles that he realized how much he needed his best friend. And when he realized that he really loved Hunk- in more ways than one.

The decadence had slowed again after the month was over, but it was still faster than its initial rate, and the doctors had still been unable to come up with a viable explanation. Now he was nineteen and living in silence.

When Lance finally collapsed on his bed, he made the quick decision to _not_ tell Hunk. He also decided to forgo his upcoming finals altogether. He knew at least one of them would entail identifying musical notes as they're being played, and he didn't want to put himself through the embarrassment.

Hunk didn't put the pieces together until that weekend, and Lance immediately recognized Hunk's "I'm disappointed in you" look. God, he hated that look.

It took all of five minutes before Lance broke down and explained everything, with shaking hands. When the tears made everything too blurry to see, he closed his eyes and let his hands tell describe what had happened. Immediately after he'd finished, he was enveloped in big arms, holding him close as he cried. He didn't know what he sounded like, or if he was making any noise at all, and that thought just made him cry harder. Hunk just held and rocked him, like the big mama bear that he was.

* * *

It didn't take Lance long to drop out. Hunk left the dorms with him, and they rented a small apartment close to the college, as Hunk was still attending. Lance managed to pick up a few jobs here and there, but his disability made that hard. Lance's mood was regularly sour, due to the constant frustration. Hunk was always patient with him, caring, doing whatever he could to help his best friend, but it was hard on both of them. It took a few months, but the tension finally reached a breaking point.

* * *

When Hunk got home, everything was silent. There was no noise, at all, in the apartment. After living with a deaf person for a few months, he had gotten used to quiet. Quiet, where there were little sounds here and there that clued him in on what Lance was up to, but not enough to be considered even as loud as normal conversation. After living with a deaf person for a few months, _silent_ was bad. Silent meant that there is no noise _at all._ Which cued the possibility that something very bad has occurred.

He forced himself to remain calm, refusing to jump to conclusions, as he carefully surveyed the apartment. He walked down the short hall and looked through the first doorway on the right. He wasn't in the kitchen, where he usually was by this point in the day, casually dinking around and fixing them something for dinner. Second door on the right. He wasn't in his room. The bathroom light was off, but Hunk checked the bathtub anyways, just to be safe. Hunk was getting more and more anxious by the second, close to freaking out, when he finally stepped into the living room, relieved to see Lance's head peeking out over the couch.

He didn't relax though, as Lance was sitting ramrod straight, whereas he usually slouched to one side of the couch or the other, leaning against an armrest with a book in his lap.

He eased around to the other side of the piece of furniture, careful not to scare Lance. Lance didn't even glance sideways at him, staring straight ahead. So he'd probably felt Hunk's footsteps. One look at Lance's face, his set jaw, and his eyes, firmly locked on the opposite wall, told Hunk everything he needed to know. Lance was _pissed_.

He stepped directly into Lance's line of sight, forcing their eyes to meet. It took only a second before Lance looked away, finding a new spot to burn holes into. Hunk took that moment to survey the room, looking for anything that would've set Lance off like that. His eyes were immediately drawn to the coffee table, where a packet lay innocently, and Hunk groaned, a hand coming up to press into his face. He should've known Lance would find it, he had left it on his desk, and Lance was curious by nature.

"What is this, Hunk?" The harsh, jumbled words slowly registered in Hunk's brain. Lance was still working on trying to relearn talking and was getting pretty good at it. He noted that while the words were phrased like a question, it sounded more like a demand. He'd wanted to talk to Lance about the packet, but not like this. He knew this was going to turn into a mess.

 _'Your mother gave me the idea when I talked to her the other day. I figured it was worth looking into.'_ Hunk signed, wincing a little despite himself.

"I... I know that I haven't been all that successful with finding a job, but I mean..." Lance drifted off, looking down at the pages in his hands, reading and rereading the heading. 'Disability Benefits Application Form'. "Am I that hopeless?" The look on his face broke Hunk's heart.

 _'No, of course not!'_ Hunk was quick to respond, desperate to reassure his best friend before that dangerous train of thought could continue. Hunk knew about Lance's insecurities; the latino boy was always quick to confide in his best friend and had shared most of his worries and fears. Lance didn't want to let his family down. He didn't want to be a burden. He wanted to be independent. He worried about what others thought of him. Despite his big talk, he was incredibly insecure about himself. The _last_ thing Hunk wanted was to be the cause of more insecurities.

"Then why? You've finally given up on me? 'Don't let Lance work, he'll just screw everything up'," Lance had tears in his eyes now, and Hunk ran a hand through his hair. This is not how he'd hoped this conversation would go. Lance just looked so hurt, and Hunk felt the guilt welling up. Lance's voice slowly got louder, more frustrated, more stressed. Each syllable raised in pitch as well, as Lance's accusatory tone just didn't stop. "Am I just a charity case to you? Because you could've just told me if you wanted-"

Hunk cleared the distance between them in two large steps, squatting in front of Lance and placing a hand over his mouth, pressing their foreheads together for a moment. Lance had always been tactile, and touch helped calmed him. He waited until Lance was sufficiently relaxed, the tension in his posture receding, before leaning back just enough to sign properly.

 _'Of course not. You're my best friend, and nothing changes that. Just because you're deaf, doesn't mean you're useless or helpless. You can take care of yourself just fine. It took a few adjustments, but now I feel completely safe leaving you here by yourself. I trust you, and I know you'll be here, alive and well, when I get back._

 _'I know you've been pretty bored around here, and I know you've been trying hard to find a job somewhere that works for you. And they have no reason to turn you down without getting to know you at least a little. Anyone who would take the time to get to know you would quickly find out how amazing you truly are. Hell, you can talk just as well, or even better than anyone I've ever met.'_ Lance gave him a true smile then, the kind that made Hunk's heart beat just a touch faster, because he knew Lance only smiled like that for him.

"Then what's with the form?" Lance asked hesitantly, mostly reassured, but still curious about why Hunk had picked up the application. Hunk sighed, plopping down next to him. The larger male gently plucked the packet out of Lance's loose grip, scanning it as he collected his thoughts. When he was finally ready to explain, he shifted in order to properly face Lance.

 _'You've been so stressed out lately, so worked up over finding a job, and I didn't like it. I was worried about you,'_ Hunk admitted sincerely, watching Lance's reactions carefully. _'I told your mother about it, and she suggested disability. I figured it'd give us some breathing room, and give you time to find something you actually enjoy.'_ Lance's eyes widened.

"You were trying to help me," he realized, sighing and burying his head between his knees. He felt a hand on his shoulder, rubbing his back gently. He had never really noticed until that point, but Hunk had always been there, watching out for him. Hunk noticed all his moods, and always seemed to know how to de-escalate situations before things (Lance) got out of hand.

"You know," Lance spoke softly, or at least, he hoped he was speaking softly. "I... I can't even remember what your voice sounds like anymore." Hunk's eyes widened, and their eyes locked when Lance finally gained enough courage to look up at him. _' I'm sorry,'_ Lance signed, not trusting his voice, and Hunk pulled him into a hug. Lance knew he wasn't the only one upset, and that was confirmed when he felt wet tears settle into his shirt, but neither of them had to say anything. They knew they would be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Two and a half years later..._**

Lance slipped on a light jacket, rolling his eyes at Hunk's fussing. His best friend was nervous, so he let it slide. He was meeting Hunk's friends after all. The Hawaiian hadn't shut up about them for a few months, and evidently when they found out that he had a roommate he'd known since he was little, they insisted on meeting him.

 _'Are you sure about this?'_ Hunk signed, second-guessing all of his life decisions. Lance smiled reassuringly, dragging Hunk out of their apartment.

"Of course, it's been forever since I've been 'out of the house' like this, and you know I hate being cooped up." He flashed a grin, and Hunk relaxed slightly. "Come on big guy, where'd you say that coffee shop was again?" It took them ten minutes to get there, and all of Lance's strength of will to not smack the living daylights out of Hunk for being ridiculous. He took the hint when Lance covered his eyes, refusing to watch what Hunk was saying.

Lance remembered when Hunk had first asked if he wanted to meet the infamous "college buddies" Hunk was always talking about. The larger male had come home all nervous-excited, practically vibrating, similar to the way he approached new mechanical designs. Lance had recognized the signs immediately, and had been extremely direct in asking what Hunk was all worked up about. It had surprised him that he was invited to one of their hangouts, but it had not been an unwelcome surprise.

He was almost 22, practically at the prime of his life, and sitting around doing nothing. Like hell he was going to miss out on a chance to have some fun for a change.

Hunk had helped him learn names ahead of time, to make things easier, and he made sure to memorize how the vibrations felt on his throat. Hunk also told him that they would both be meeting a guy for the first time; Allura's boyfriend would be joining them.

When they stepped into the cozy little cafe, Hunk immediately dragged him towards a table in the back, waving. Lance saw their lips moving, keeping his face neutral, managing to identify a few greetings, before Hunk turned back to him.

"Guys, this is Lance," Hunk gestured to him, signing as he talked, so all parties could understand him. Lance waved a little, an easy grin on his face.

He immediately recognized two of the three sitting there as classmates from high school, as he politely shook hands. He let them introduce themselves, and recognized the way Keith and Pidge's names looked on their lips from when Hunk had "taught" him how to say them. He nodded to them, before turning to the new face, a really pretty girl. She shook Lance's hand politely as he gave her a cheesy, good-natured pickup line, winking to let her know he was just teasing.

She rolled her eyes, but smiled all the same. "Allura, right?" He asked, hoping that he had pronounced it right. When she nodded, he smiled, just a bit proud of himself. They sat down, Lance making sure to sit where he could easily see Hunk, which was easier than expected due to the round table. He noticed Keith and Pidge giving him strange looks every so often, but he brushed it off.

Another guy joined them after a couple minutes, rushing in with a few apologies. From what Lance managed to gather from the chaos that ensued, this guy was the boyfriend Hunk had told him about, which he picked up on after the guy gave Allura a peck on the cheek. He recognized the look on Keith's face, assuming that they were probably brothers, as he'd seen that look on his younger siblings, and even himself sometimes, when they looked at his older brother. A look of familial respect. Almost, but not quite fatherly. The guy ruffled Pidge's hair, and shook Hunk's hand, before turning to Lance.

The smile he gave was warm, and it really reminded Lance of his older brother. "Nice to meet you," he told the guy, and saw what Lance assumed was a name form on the guy's lips, but he couldn't make it out. He immediately looked to Hunk, who signed the individual letters back to him.

"Shiro?" He tried, unsure, and got wide eyes and a nod in return.

Shiro raised tentative hands, and surprised Lance by carefully signing out, _'Are you deaf?'_ Lance nodded with a sad smile and was pulled into a hug. He slowly wrapped his own arms around the taller male, unsure about what was happening but appreciative of the hug. When Shiro pulled back, he was signing again, with a smile. _'You talk really well.'_

 _'Thanks,'_ he signed back, grinning proudly. _'Lots of practice,'_

 _'I'm a bit rusty with signing,'_ Shiro gave him an apologetic look. _'It's been a while, plus I'm still adjusting to this...'_ Shiro appeared to be searching for the sign he was looking for, frowning in concentration. _'New arm,'_ Shiro signed, not knowing the sign for prosthetic.

Both Hunk and Lance's eyes widened, while the others watched the exchanges in silence. Allura seemed relaxed, but Keith and Pidge seemed to have found the facial expression for "wtf"; having no idea what was even going on.

"Can I?" Hunk leaned forward, his eyes sparkling with the excitement of a child at Christmas. Lance knew that Hunk was dying to check out the mechanics behind a prosthetic that moved like a real arm, as the engineer's gaze flittered eagerly between Shiro and his arm.

Shiro nodded his consent, and Hunk immediately took that as his chance to examine the new technology.

"...What just happened?" Pidge asked, as Keith's gaze flittered between Shiro, Lance, and Hunk.

"I was just signing with Lance," Shiro answered nonchalantly, before returning to answering Hunk's rapid-fire questions, deeming his response sufficient. Used to Hunk's antics, Lance shifted his focus to Keith's lips, as they formed tentative words.

"Wait, so," Keith spoke slowly, with frequent pauses, trying to voice his train of thought. "You're... deaf?" His question was exceptionally blunt, and Hunk winced as he paused to interpret, but Keith was oblivious. Lance carefully studied him, mildly surprised at what he found. He didn't see the usual discomfort or disgust, he just saw genuine curiosity in Keith's body language, along with the slightest hint of... guilt?

"Yes," Lance answered after a moment, nodding, aware of Hunk avidly gauging his reactions. Ever the cinnamon roll, bless him.

"How long?" Pidge asked, leaning forward, a scientist's curiosity putting a little sparkle in her intense gaze, both Allura and Hunk balking at the question.

"Pidge!" They exclaimed as Lance let out a breathy laugh, relieving any remaining tension.

"It's alright," he reassured, leaning back and relaxing into his chair, humoring them and answering their questions. "Officially, I've been deaf for close to three and a half years."

"Unofficially?" Keith prodded.

"It started going downhill when I was fifteen."

"You can still talk well though." When Pidge asked it, it wasn't really a question, and Lance nodded in response.

"It's the vibrations, I've worked to memorize how words feel on my throat when I say them, and the deterioration was slow enough that I had plenty of time to work on it while I could still faintly hear myself."

"That's amazing!" Allura smiled at him, and Lance beamed proudly.

"Thanks, though I couldn't have done it without Hunk. He was so awesome through everything, and stuck with me through thick and thin." Lance nudged Hunk playfully, and they shared a quick grin between themselves.

"But wait, how do you know how to sign Shiro?" The slightly embarrassed and vulnerable look Hunk got in response to his question, followed by the telltale movement of Allura's hand presumably gripping Shiro's, told Lance that the answer was probably incredibly personal.

"You don't have to tell us," Lance immediately reassured, trying to stop any triggers before they could affect the comfortable mood that had settled over the group, but Shiro immediately waved him off.

"No, it's alright. It started because of my anxiety. Sometimes I'd lock up so bad that I couldn't speak, so a therapist suggested learning a little bit of sign to help my friends and family figure out how to help me when I had attacks. I guess I just got hooked on the language, though the accident was a big setback for me," Shiro gestured to his prosthetic arm, and Lance nodded in understanding.

"Still, it's cool that sign was able to help you. It's nice to see it applied in nontraditional ways. I know I was shocked when Hunk and my whole family started learning sign with me, trying to be as supportive as possible while I was seriously struggling, but I appreciated it so much," Lance smiled nostalgically, looking down at his hands, and for a moment the table was quiet.

After a moment Lance snapped out of his reverie, glancing up and blushing, before looking down again and quickly apologizing for making things awkward. He was immediately silenced when he gained the courage to peek up again, shocked to be met with a few teary smiles.

"That's so cool Lance," Shiro spoke softly and smiled at him, and Hunk gave him a side-hug, crying like the big baby he was.

"Ugh I love you man," Hunk bumbled, and Lance laughed, wiping away a stray tear himself."

"I love you too, buddy," Both guys completely missed the pointed look Allura, Pidge, and Shiro shared.

"Anyone going to question how quickly Shiro and Lance just settled into our group, like they just... belong here?" Keith asked, a smirk on his face.

"Nope!" Multiple voices chorused.

"What are you talking about Keith? They _do_ belong," Hunk grinned from ear to ear, a happiness that everyone at the table couldn't help but match, as they settled in for a few more hours of comfortable conversation.

* * *

Lance was in a good mood when they got home. It was the kind of mood that was just contagious, you took one look at the literally bouncing man and you had to smile. And Hunk didn't fight it, he was glad Lance enjoyed spending time with his friends. Even though he had been the one who suggested Lance meet them, he had immediately started to worry about everything that could've gone wrong.

He'd been so worried, so anxious, that it was a complete shock when Lance fit right into their group, without any fuss. And looking back, Hunk realized that there was no reason to think that Lance wouldn't.

Hunk jolted back to reality when Lance started tapping insistently on his shoulder to get his attention. He looked just in time to see Lance signing, a mile a minute. An hour and a half into their get-together, Lance's vocal chords had been exhausted from all the use, so he'd switched back to signing, with Hunk interpreting. Hunk couldn't remember the last time Lance had spoken so much, and from the look on Lance's face, he couldn't either.

They ended up chatting for a while longer before Lance declared that he was off to bed, though not without a bit of a dramatic flair. Hunk indulged him, smiling fondly and watching Lance retreat to his room.

He remained on the couch, thinking about the night's activities, when his phone rang.

"Mrs. McClain!" He picked up his phone, answering it immediately. The familiar voice traveled through the phone, and he couldn't keep the smile off his face. Lance's mother was practically a second mother to him after all. "I've been meaning to call you, we still need to figure out what we're doing for Lance's birthday..."

"That's what I was just calling about!" Hunk had to hold back a laugh. If Lance was bubbly and extroverted, his mother was twice as outgoing. And she never called at normally acceptable times either. Hunk glanced at the clock; 11:06 pm. "You know how Zoe started volunteering at that animal shelter?"

"Oh yeah! Last time we visited she couldn't stop talking about it," Hunk grinned at the mention of his almost-sister. He had two siblings of his own, but it was nothing like the chaos of the McClain family. They had six children, and nieces, nephews, cousins, and grandchildren coming out of their ears. Lance was a middle child, with two older brothers and three younger sisters.

Lance was a middle child, with two older brothers and three younger sisters. His oldest sister was 17 and wanted to be a veterinarian. So she started volunteering at the nearest animal shelter, and occasionally shadowed one of the local vets, who just so happened to be their aunt. In Lance and Hunk's hometown, it seemed like everyone was related to the McClain family. Which was almost true.

"Well, she was telling me that they got a new dog in today, whose owner died. It's about three years old and evidently was unofficially trained as a hearing ear dog. I guess the family got the dog as a gift for their grandfather, who'd just lost his hearing ear dog, but he died before they could get the dog registered. Anyways, we were thinking that we should get him for Lance!" Hunk's eyes widened further and further throughout the story. By the time she was done, his smile was so wide he thought his face was going to crack.

"Yes! That's so awesome! He's going to love that! Oh wow, that's so perfect!" Hunk was practically vibrating with excitement, and Lance's mother laughed at his enthusiasm.

"Alright, so we're going to work that out and get him registered, and we're planning to come and visit for Lance's birthday this year. So you need to make sure that your landlord will allow the dog, and get things ready for us to come!" She instructed, and Hunk forced himself to pay attention.

"Alright Mrs. McClain, I'll see you soon. Bye!" Hunk headed to bed not long after he got off the phone, but with the adrenaline burst from his excitement, it took him longer than usual to fall asleep. He couldn't wait to see the look on Lance's face; he knew that his friend had been wanting a service dog for years, but they all knew that it was unrealistic. They were so expensive to train, and Lance's family wasn't particularly rich, so he'd had to bench that idea. Now though, one had fallen into their laps. And they certainly wouldn't refuse it.

Yes, Hunk was excited.

 **Alright, so I've mentioned that this is loosely based on Mandy Harvey's story, but I must again stress the 'loosely' part. You guys will understand as the story progresses, but yeah. I really am only using a few details from her life, relating to her deafness and talent, but everything else is based around Lance. I don't own anything but the order of the words that I've used.**


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